Skip to main content

Why I Never Unfriend on Facebook

I've been really praying about and contemplating this post for some time.  Every time I see a post on Facebook by one of my friends that says, I'm going through and cleaning out my friends on Facebook or "You've made the cut!", I have two knee-jerk reactions.  First, I think, "boy, am I going to make it?"  and the second reaction I have is "do I want to be friends with someone who actually would cut someone from their friends list?"


Really, that's what I think. Look, don't accept a friendship on Facebook that you don't plan on keeping for your entire life - yes, the rest of your life!  Although the person doesn't get a notification that they are unfriended, it usually doesn't take them long to figure out what you've done. Either they see a comment on another friends page, or an event on another's page, or you are in a group together, or something will red flag your dirty deed.

I always tell my hostesses that it's better to invite everyone, because rarely is someone offended to be invited to your party, but if they hear that there's a party and they didn't get invited, they will be offended.  This same principle can be applied here.  If you plan to ever have any sort of relationship with that person again, DO NOT UNFRIEND THEM! 

I recently had two "friends" decide to make a statement (and frankly, be bratty) and unfriended me because they felt I wasn't a friend a "real life."  Well, when one of those girls contacted me to "talk about some things," I had no interest.   Someone who unfriends another, really has no interest in any sort of friendship with me.  She sent a very clear message, publicly, mind you that she didn't want to be friends with me anymore.  If she thinks I want to be best buds again, forget it.  I have no interest in games, or in people who don't work things out in person, first. She should have worked out those things before she unfriended me.

When you unfriend another these are the statements you are making:
  1. You don't like that person.
  2. You have no interest in that person.
  3. You are still in high school and feel the need to be clicky (and who wants to be friends with that.)
  4. No one can disagree with you, ever.
  5. If you're my friend, tread lightly, or I might unfriend you too!
At the end of the day, I choose to follow Christ's command "to love one another."  You can't love another by unfriending them.  Maybe you don't agree with everything someone posts, or shares on Facebook, but isn't that true love, to stay "friends" with them?  I know that many of the 500+ friends I have on Facebook, don't have my same beliefs or views, but I pray and hope that something in my life touches them to see Christ's love.  I can put up with a few and often a lot of posts on political angles I don't agree with, rather than "unfriend" someone.

Don't get me wrong, you should never friend someone that is unsafe or will harm you or your family.  Here are some of the ways I handle difficult people without unfriending them:
  • I think the first line of defense is to hide someone's posts that I don't care for.  They don't know you don't see them. 
  • Don't post anything you wouldn't want your worst enemy or your boss to know about you.
  • Unfollow them, so the posts don't appear in your feed. 
  • Restrict who sees each of your posts.  I do this for several people that just don't need to know what's going on in my life - you know, those people that aren't being great friends in "real life." 
  • Once someone unfriends me, I actually block that person.  I feel like if they don't want to be friends that's their choice, but they also don't get the privilege of seeing into my life as my friends would. 
On another thought, what do you say to someone when you run into them in person?  "Oh, hi, unfriend, how are you doing? I see you don't want to be friends on Facebook anymore, but hey, lets get together for coffee?"  I don't know what people are thinking when they unfriend someone in the same town, especially a small town.  It's extremely awkward! 

Listen folks, if you are trying to be friendly and loving to a person in "real life," then playing manipulative games of friending and unfriending on Facebook is not that way to go.  If you are a leader in any organization, or are in a place of authority, you should take heart to this.  If you are trying to build a business, don't unfriend people. Also, if you are trying to be a witness to others, then you definitely should never hit that unfriend button! Unfriending people is not a good way to develop relationships in anyway. 

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Thanks so much for your comments! I love to hear from you!

Popular posts from this blog

DIY Pig Feeder

  This is our second year of raising pigs for the fair.  We've had some bumps along the way, one of them was our homemade feeder of last year.  I tend to have ideas, and then Mr. Right gets the pleasure of trying to execute my ideas.  Most of the time it works out, but last year, our feeder was a fail.   This year, we need a feeder that can go a long period of time, since our pigs are not on our property where we live.  Our neighbor made a complaint about the smell of the pigs last year to our landlord, so the landlord told us no more pigs. (Keep in mind, there are only 2 pigs on 6 acres and they are only here for 5 months and then go to the 4-H fair and livestock auction) Thankfully, another neighbor graciously allowed us to pen up a corner of her horse pen, to put our pigs in.    This year, I wanted to be sure that Mr. Right did a quality version of the pig feeder that would make it through the entire five months, and hopefully into the next few years!  We agreed on
Post a Comment
Read more

Burlap and Ticking

I found a queen size bed ruffle with  a ticking ruffle on it.  Immediately, I picked it up (for only $1!) at our local thrift store.  I knew that I would combine it with my find of burlap bags.  ( I picked up 200 of them for only $10!  Yes, that's right, they were only $.05 each! I overindulged in them, and could take no less than 200 because of the price.)  One of the problems with my new bags is that they are a little smaller than the printed ones that I have.  I personally like really long table runners because I have a really big table, but I decided to get over my own feelings and make this runner as long as I could (the ruffle really helped, too).  So here is the runner.  I think the ticking and the burlap really look great together.  I know how to make ruffles and have ticking, but for $1 I thought that this really was worth using from a different source! You could have it in the middle of a big table like above, or you could have the ruffle hang down the edge of the
16 comments
Read more

Drop Cloth Couch Re-do

It's my 100th Post!  What a great big reveal I have in store for you today! Three years ago, I found  Miss Mustard Seeds' 6 part How to Make Slipcovers Series  and started with watching the first video.  I ran out to Home Depot and purchased two drop clothes, washed and bleached them to get ready for making the slipcovers for my two couches, and there they sat folded nicely in my craft room!  A year ago, we moved across the country, so I packed those drop clothes up in a box, clearly marked them and put them on the truck.  When we arrived, I put them in front of all my other boxes to do first.  We even moved again over Christmas, and I moved that box again!  Then, I did a pillow re-do,  HERE  that pushed me over the edge.  I just had to tackle those slip covers! Before of the couch and the pillows that began the entire thing!  I  had a Saturday, where the guys were doing guy things and it was me and the girls home, so I watched all 6 videos!  Yes, I did, from start to
14 comments
Read more